Myspace Survey Longer than I thought

1. Last beverage:
2. Last phone call:
Giving someone directions to my apt.
3. Last song you listened to:
How Country Feels – Randy Houser
4. Last time you cried:
Can’t remember. Teared up on the treadmill at the gym Sunday, when news from Orlando broke.
5. Have you dated someone twice:
Dated? Nah. Hooked back up after calling it off? Bingo.
6. Have you ever been cheated on:
Can you technically be cheated on if the relationship was a lie?
7. Kissed someone & regretted it:
Hell yes. I drink a bottle of mouthwash just thinking about it.
8. Have you lost someone special:
Yes, I know a few great people that have passed away.
9. What are your three favorite colors:
Black, Gray, Blue.
10. Met someone who changed you in the past month:
I don’t wear diapers.
11. Kissed anyone on your friends list:
12. How many kids do you want:
this is up for debate.
13. Do you want any pets:
also debatable.
14. Do you want to change your name:
It might get hyphened at some point.
15. What did you do for your last birthday:
Had a great time going out in Tulsa with some great people
16. What time did you wake up today:
7:14 a.m.
17. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
San Francisco
18. Last time you saw your mother:
Mother’s Day?
19. Most visited webpage:
Pinterest or Sporcle.
20. Nicknames:
Master P.
21. Relationship status:
22. Zodiac sign:
23. Male or female:
24. Height:
6′ 1″ & tons of fun
25. Do you have a crush on someone:
what is this 8th grade?
26. Piercings:
you can get away with a select few.
27. Tattoos:
Ink free currently
28. Strong or Weak:
the strongest
29. First surgery:
30. First best friend:
I had a few, not fair to single one out.
31. First sport you joined:
Tee ball
32. First vacation:
The taverns in New Mexico
33. First school:
34. First pair of trainers:
What is this British?
35. Lips or eyes:
36. Hugs or kisses:
37. Shorter or taller:
Shorter or taller
38. Older or younger:
within 7 years is great.
39. Romantic or spontaneous:
Showers are romantic, right?
40. Sensitive or loud:
Sensitive & loud
41. Hook-up or relationship:
42. Morning or night:
43. Kissed a stranger:
44. Gotten a speeding ticket:
45. Lost glasses/contacts:
Don’t wear glasses or need contacts.
46. Sex on first date:
Next question please.
47. Broken someone’s heart:
All of them
48. Been arrested:
Next question please.
49. Have you turned someone down:
& then blocked them.
50. Fallen for a friend:
51. Moved out of town:
18 years had come and gone, for mama they flew by but for me they dragged on & on
52. Miracles:
of the Christmas sort
53. Love at first sight:
I fall in love everyday.
54. Heaven:
Songs by Warrant and Bryan Adams.
55. Santa Claus:
56. Kiss on the first date:
Hell yes.
57. Angels:
what kind
58. Yourself:
I’m the best.
59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:
I’ve dated multiple people at the same time. That’s not against the law.
60. Been in love with someone you couldn’t be with?:
In love? Nah. but there’s been situations where I could relate to Sugarland’s Stay.
61. Ever cheated on somebody:
Technically no.
62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
I wouldn’t.
63. Are you afraid of falling in love:
I’m more afraid of babies or the idea I’ve wasted too much time stressing about things that didn’t matter in a week.
64. Was your last relationship a mistake?
Relationships are learning experiences and were right for their time. Yes, it was awful.
65. Do you miss your last relationship?
66. Who did you last say “i love you” to?
Louie’s Green Chili Burger
67. Have you ever been depressed?
Depressed is a big word. I had a dark cloud once.
68. Are you insecure?
At some aspects of life.
69. How do you want to die?
Painlessly at 150 years old, eating a hamburger.
70. Do you bite your nails?
On occasion.
71. When was your last physical fight?
Cannot remember. Do siblings count?
72. Do you have an attitude?
Do YOU have an attitude?
73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Twirl that shit.
74. Do you tan a lot?
I don’t want skin cancer, bro.
75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving?
No, never.
76. Ever made out in a bathroom?
Not a public bathroom facility. In my own and others’; yes.
77. Would you take any of your exes back?
Exes? No. Hookups? Yes.
78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
What’s the mission Marty?
79. What are your plans for this weekend?
Visit the fam.
80. Do you type fast?
After I quit huntin and peckin. Thanks Mr. Henderson!
81. Can you spell well?
I’m alright.
82: What are you craving right now?
Mediterranean Orzo Salad
83. Have you ever been on a horse?
Yes. Hate it.
84. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
85. What’s irritating you right now?
Hate & Ignorance people have about groups of people.
86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
87. Does somebody love you?
Well they damn well better.
88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car?
89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate?
Reese’s Pieces.
90. Do you have trust issues?
Yes. Yes. I do.
91. Longest relationship?
Debra, 16 years and going.
92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
Probably. Psycho.
93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs?
and less.
94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
I don’t believe we’re controlled.
95. Did you have dream last night?
Yes. I think I was drinking White Grape Peach Juice. I’ve been wanting it since.
96. Have you ever been out of state?
Well yes.
97. Do you play the Wii?
It’s been a coon’s age.
98. Do you like Chinese food?
Yes. Hell Yes.
99. Are you afraid of the dark?
Depends on where I am. Not in my house.
100. Is cheating ever okay?
No. But Maybe. Idk.
101. What year has been your best?
Good question, I really don’t know.
102. Do you believe in true love?
Love is an attachment that grows.
103. Favorite weather?
Easy answer, sunshine and 78 degrees.
104. Do you like the snow?
105. Do you like the outside?
Yes, I like the outside.
106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Depends how it’s being said.
107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?
Yes. and then some.
108. What makes you happy?
Food. Underwear. Friends.
109. Ever been to Alaska?
Not yet. It’s a someday.
110. Ever been to Hawaii?
111. Do you watch the news?
Not anymore.
112. Do you love MTV?
113. Do you like subway?
Not really.
114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
I don’t think so.
115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
And? All da bitches love me; all da, all da bitches love me.
116. Why did you decide to do this quiz?
Seriously though I’m on question 116 & I’m tired? Damn good question.
117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?
Story of my life.
118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Story of my life.
119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Friend from work.
120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Probably my therapist.
121. Ever bought condoms?
Yes and I’ve bought feminine products too.
122. Ever gotten pregnant?
I’ve been 4 months along for years now.
123. Have you ever slipped on ice?
Yes, nearly broke my coccyx
124 Have you ever missed the bus?
More like the bus missed me. I was walking to get on it & the bus just drove off. I was like 6, bastard.
125. Have you left the house without money?
That’s pretty much daily.
126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?
Next question
127. Have you ever smoked a cigar?
Can’t afford that life.
128. Did you ever drink alcohol?
Next question.
129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”?
few times.
130. Have you ever been overweight?
131. Ever been to a wedding?
Not even once.
132. Ever been in a wedding?
133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight?
I’m sure I have.
135. Ever kissed in the rain?
136. Did you ever shower with someone else?
One of my favorite things
137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test?
138. Ever been outside your home country?
139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?
140. Ever been to a professional sports game?
141. Have you ever broken a bone?
142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life?
143. Ever get engaged?
144. Have you ever been on a diet?
Not seriously
145. Have you ever been on TV?
I have once in a while if the news cameras and I’m at the same place.
146. Ever ridden in a taxi?
147. Ever been to prom?
148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more?
149 Have you ever been to a concert?
150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work?
151. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Not really
152. Ever had braces?
153. Did you ever learn another language?
154. Do you wear make-up?
Not normally.
155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out?
No. My mouth is still a wealth of knowledge.
156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself?
157. Ever dyed your hair?
158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes?
159. Ever ridden in an ambulance?
160. Ever ridden in a helicopter?
161. Ever caught the stove on fire?
162. Ever meet someone famous?
Not more famous than me.
163. Ever been on an airplane?
164. Ever been on a boat?
165. Ever broken something expensive?
166. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground?

Every Moment Matters

Every August, a group of students enter my classroom. I teach them math, we share laughs, and in May, I send them on to the next grade. As soon as I meet them, I focus on pushing them ahead. Make them better than they were. It’s the way the system works.

I know this is every teacher’s focus. So when I see student from one of my previous classes outside of school, I always hit them up to see how they’re doing. How much farther ahead they’ve gotten on this push. How close they are to that point of living in this successful future that I’ve envisioned for each of them.

When I learn that a former student has passed on before they reach this point. I feel like a deal has broken. I’ve always had a quiet arrangement with my students. It’s a one-sided contract that I’ve never told them about. If I were to put this deal in writing it would read something like this:

I, the teacher, will have you, the student, in my class for one year. After that, I may never see you again. But I will spend the rest of my life entertaining hopes and dreams for your future success.

My students are heading off to do great things. I am certain. I have visions of grandeur for each child: the ER doctor off to her life-saving surgery, the Supreme Court Justice to his Bench, the Broadway actress off to her stage, and the Naval Commander to his ship.

When a student dies, those dreams are wiped away. The hopes are gone. The deal is off.

A teacher must look backward, not forward, to see that particular child. He is sitting at his table. He is playing tag. He is crying because his dad did not come see him this weekend. He is planning what he wants his future to be like. He plans to grow up like the rest of the class.

But it’s not going to happen.

As a teacher, you find out that once in awhile there is no next year. That the biggest days of this person’s life might be spent right there, sitting in front of you at their desk.

I need to remember that every moment matters.

Writing Challenge: Day 2


Write about 5 Places You Wish to Visit.

I will try my best to narrow down my picks. Can’t say that the ones I’ve chosen are even my “top 5 places to visit ever”, I think this will be more of a “hopefully the next 5 places I visit” list. Of course, I say this like I have a passport and a list of people interested in traveling with me. I definitely don’t. Also, I really know very little about these places so if my insight or word structure describing these destinations appears to be lacking you can shut up.

Place 1) San Francisco – I could dedicate an entire post to this particular location and everything I want to get out of it while I visit. Where do I start? The Golden Gate Bridge. I love it. It’s appears to be a beautiful structure. I can’t explain why I’m drawn to a bridge, exactly. Maybe it was the intro to those Full House episodes. Maybe it’s because where I come from the bridges are shit. Like even- possibly made out of shit. Ok, ok, not actual shit. But they’re bad. Real bad. Michael Jackson. Anyway, I’ve researched SF a lot. and this particular location in SF the most. This research has included the better locations for the best Golden Gate Bridge pictures. Also, by ‘research’ I mean ‘pinterest’ so it could all be lies. This being said, I’d still love to spend one entire day just being close to this spot in San Francisco. Biking, Hiking, Photographing, People watching, whatever. Then I would spend the rest of my time venturing more into other places. The trip ideas are endless. I’ve heard things about the people, food, and nightlife. Beyond positive things. (Except for one person that told me SF is overrated and is covered in dog shit for miles.) Still, I want to see firsthand what this place is all about. I want to hit it with an explorer’s attitude. & I’m going to. I will definitely cross this place off my list at some point. Sooner rather than later.

Place 2) New Zealand – Adventure. I’ve had to have mentioned this place before in a post. Because it’s awesome. It really seems like a different world. The hobbit trails, the mountain views, ..I know I’ve typed about this place. I’ll shut up about it. This being said, I’m afraid this one might let me down the most. I have these really high expectations of what this place is like, possibly unreachable. I’ve recently came across a blog from someone that lives there entitled “What New Zealand is really like.” I saw C- landscapes at best and fog. Not like fun city fog. Gross fog.

Place 3) Italy – So I can be one of those snobby people that can bring my travels into conversation at the drop of a hat. I’d love to spend a month/summer there to live/explore. Then I could come back to let people know I’m cultured these days and I no longer belch mid-sentence. Ok. I don’t actually do that. Any more. As often. However trips to Italy aren’t cheap, the flight alone will ensure that I have one less child in the future. Until then Pizza Hut it is.

Place 4) Salt Lake City – This is a recent interest. A friend of mine mentioned it as a potential place to live. California and Vegas sound like great weekend destinations to run off to. Also, the pictures of the landscape in Salt Lake City look great. I’d love to scope the place out. Not sure, I’d fully commit to moving just yet. I’d really prefer a place away from potential snow. Don’t care to drive in it. I get angry when we come across a snow dusting, and I still have to drive to work.

Place 5) Dominican Republic – Maybe because it’s December and I miss shorts and summer days. Needless to say, it’s another beach pick. I’m sure this is another great spot full of culture that I’d want to experience in person. My main reason for picking this place was wanting a memorable spot to relax. When I say ‘relax’ you know I meant when I’m making that bank and can afford that good life at a resort. Just from what I’ve seen in pictures and on reality television shows, it really looks like one of the best locations in the Caribbean.

There you have it, my 5 places I wish to visit.

Writing Challenge: Day 1.

List Ten things that make you happy:

Thing 1) Singing. At really loud volumes. Usually the acoustic version. From Taylor to Hillsong United. Nicki Minaj to The Four Tops. Mostly in the car. Whether it’s: Knowing all the words to a song on the radio. Organizing a good mix or playing just that one song on repeat.

Thing 2) New clothes. Coats. Scarves. Socks. Underwear. Long-sleeved Button Up Shirts. Sweaters. Jeans. Boots. Gym Shoes. Gym shorts. New clothes make me happy.

Thing 3) Letters. Handwritten are preferred. Letters about anything. Letters sent via mail. Letters left behind by someone and hidden in places to be discovered. Keeping them and reading them again in the future.

Thing 4) Running around with my crew. Maybe it’s lunch. Maybe it’s drinks. Maybe it’s a day’s road trip for an unpreventable journey. Board games. Peanuts character dancing. Fuzzy’s Fishbowls. Facing new adventures or reminiscing about life’s moments shared (good, bad, anything in between). Friends are great.

Thing 5) Watching my favorite movies. & rewatching them. Not necessarily Knowing every line status. Sometimes waiting just to hear it. Sometimes thinking of the “what if?” scenario. The music played at just the right scene.
When things get really real. “Cancel the wedding. Tell her you can’t marry her.” “I can’t.” & Still get that ‘oh shit’ feeling

Thing 6) Eating out. & not having to pay. This is a rare occurrence. I don’t eat out often (although now it’s about once/twice a week) and when I do I’m generally the one that pays for it. Free food makes me happy. Unless it’s like fish or like kale.

Thing 7) Nice smells. Nice smells on me. In my apt. In my car. On my clothes. On my pillow. Colognes. Candles. Wax melts. I really like good smells around me. Also, world smells. Fresh rain on pavements. Mowed grass. Hamburgers on a grill. Pizza in a cardboard box.

Thing 8) Glitter. This is a recent thing. Glitter makes me happy. Not on everything. Fine. I have an eye for things that sparkle. Whatever. Also gold.

Thing 9) Dalmatians. Love them. Can’t wait to have one. Just the plain white with black spots. Not liver spots. For some reason everyone has to tell me reasons not to get one. “They bully kids. They can’t hear. etc etc” I don’t care. I want one. or a Goldendoodle.

Thing 10) What else? I can’t decide. Having plans I’m really looking forward to? Noticing the scale says I’ve lost weight. Fajitas. Ice water on a hot day. Dog naps. A good workout. Waking up early. Staying up late. Paintball. Bonfires. Tacos. Building great credit. Unsetting an alarm before sleep. Snow days. Summer break. Mimosas.

& another one bites the dust.

& I wanted it, I wanted it so bad.

but there were so many red flags.
Now another one bites the dust.
Yeah, let’s be clear, I’ll trust no one.

Another break up tonight. Had to end it before it got too crazy. It was headed that direction. Quickly.
Hey here’s a tip, maybe don’t say I love you within the first week of dating? Maybe don’t make fun of people that live in poverty on your first date. Don’t call me derogatory things in public. Don’t use the C word around children.
I know you said you were going to anyway but you don’t need to send that shirt back I bought you. Throw it away.

One of these days, this will all come together right? Right? All this time wasted, will be worth leading me to something good? No?
Watching another one bite the dust is becoming easier. I’m worried it’s getting too easy.
Will anything ever feel right?

Then I attempt to move on. The conversation takes off. Similar interests. Long term goals. Steady job. Same sense of humor. More compliments. More jokes. More compliments. More jokes. This is it. This is good. Finally. Everything up to this point was worth it.
I just got out of a 3 year marriage, two weeks ago.
Red Flag.

& another one bites the dust.